Flap Flap Wiggle

2004-07-31T02:08:00.000-07:00

I've been in Time many times, but I've only been in the Times one time.

2004-07-27T10:30:00.000-07:00

Hello, and welcome to all who have read my New York Times Circuits piece on hoax blogs.

If you're here, I presume it's by virtue of your having Googled my name and found my blog. No matter how you got here, however, you'll see that I've not been at all good about updating this blog, and I do regret that. When I long ago started Flap Flap Wiggle, I intended it to be an everyday thing. It was at the urging of my friend Chris, the author of Daily Blah. But my commitment to FFW has been, as you see, less than distinguished.

Ah, well. This of course, is a common affliction among those who begin blogs, no?

Actually, though, my writing does appear quite regularly. If my Times piece is the first time you've seen my byline, I invite you to check out my extensive work at Wired News.

That's especially true because I suspect many of you from the blogosphere will be arriving here irate that my story, on first reference, used the term "Web log" rather than "Weblog."

I'd like to let you know - in advance of my piece running - that I'm well aware that the proper usage is "Weblog." But New York Times style is to use "Web log." There's nothing I could do about it. It was my first piece in the Times, and I had no standing to challenge the style they've settled on.

But I hope you'll see from my work at Wired News that I do understand what blogs are, I am tapped into the blogosphere and I did not write "Web log" as a demonstration of further mainstream media misunderstanding of what blogs are.

That said, I hope you liked my story on hoax blogs. And I invite you to stay tuned to my work in the future, both in Wired News, the Times and in any other venues - including this one - in which my writing appears in print.

Thanks a lot,
Daniel Terdiman

2004-06-11T09:14:00.000-07:00

- The limit is in your mind. You can do anything. At Zombo.com.

Via the fun folks at MetaFilter, where it's Flash Friday

- Also on MetaFilter this morning, I came across an interesting post concerning the blogs of suburban husbands who are frustrated with their emotionally distant wives. They mention two blogs - which I admit I haven't read yet. But I think, especially if there are more than two that deal with real issues, rather than just tales of illicit sexual conquest, that this could be fodder for a very interesting story for Wired News. We shall see.

Via MetaFilter. Yes, it's true. That's all I've read this morning. Just got up. Geez, give me a break. I stayed up too late reading Angels & Demons.

2004-06-10T12:59:00.000-07:00

- So, here I am...It's Thursday. My lunch was canceled, so that means drinking yummy chai and talking about the Internet with K. The Internet is a crazy, weird, wacky and bizarre place. And that's just this site.

If you visit "My Cat Hates You" don't be offended. Cats have bad days. Think about it. We eat steak and tomatoes and burritos, and they have to eat kibble every damn day. No coffee, either. Or, they have to go and catch their food. Imagine how you'd feel if you had to do that every day. On no coffee.

Anyway, if you go into the page with lots of cats, be sure to notice the roll-over comments. Those cats really do hate you.

- My story on VisitorVille ran on Wired News yesterday. It was a fun story about a software package that allows site owners to view their site traffic in an urban, cityscape-type metaphor. It looks like SimCity. But it's a business tool. Imagine!

Anyway, the story got Slashdotted, and in the comments section, there were some fabulous musings on how the Slashdot effect would work in the VisitorVille environment, in which visitors who arrive from search engines are seen to be delivered by a logoed bus:

"Thousands and thousands of buses with "/." on top pour into the town. They all dump 50-60 passengers each and the streets suddenly become full. It's so packed that there's rioting in the streets and fighting. Everyone pours out of the buildings to join in the looting, and every building in town goes dark as people make for the exits. The streets are so packed that the /. buses are just plowing through the people in town, leaving bloody corpses strewn in their wake. As the looting continues, people start making off with the foundations of the buildings and, one by one, they start simply collapsing and filling the area with rubble and dust.

After you yank the network cable, the dust slowly clears and all you find is countless corpses, destroyed buildings, and smashed busloads of people from where the buildings fell on them."

Or this one:

"'That's the 15th 'Slashdot' bus I've seen this morning! Is there a Fat Virgin Convention in town? I have to get my ass to work!'

"'I know, not only have they plugged all the streets, but they're filling every coffee shop. I tried to get a biscotti this morning and I couldn't even get to the counter! They were just pushing and shoving to get to the counter, and then they'd just read the menu and leave. Bastards who did order just got a cup of coffee, then dumped it on the floor. Bastards.'"

Ouch.

2004-06-06T23:30:00.000-07:00

- So, should magicians' secrets ever be revealed? A host of them say no, and are protesting a new exhibit that, among other things, offers an explanation of one of Houdini's signature tricks. Don't visit the site if you don't want to know how he did it.

I can see their point. After all, the magic of magic is that the audience suspends its disbelief, and so if any magician's secrets are exposed, it cheapens the veracity of all the others'. Still, sometimes the truth just wants to be known.

Via MetaFilter

- A young lady friend of mine once told me that she wouldn't date any guy who couldn't identify the tattoo on her upper arm. It turned out to be a schematic of a transformer.

In short, she was hot for geeks. Having spent the last four-plus years of my life in the Burning Man world, I will tell you that I've now seen that in spades: hot women dating geeks. The rest of the world tells you it's not possible. Yet, here it is, front and center. And why? Well, this site gives a primer on why. A little superficial, but a good beginning of an explanation. On the other hand, maybe this was written by a geek trying to perpetuate the myth.

Via reBlog

- More proof that the Bushies stole Florida, and thus the presidential election, in 2000. This Flash video offer convincing, though unsourced, evidence of illegal scrubbing of the Florida voter rolls of nearly 9,000 voters. Rather stunning...And the kicker is the end.

Via reBlog

2004-06-06T12:41:00.000-07:00

- It seems there's a new trend in video games: restaurant games. It's hard to fathom how this came about, but apparently, the Japanese are all a-twitter about the opportunity to dive in and pretend you're behind the counter at a popular noodle joint. You gotta feed the patrons, handle the flow, make sure everyone's happy, keep the food coming, and not fall behind.

I wouldn't believe it, but I happened to come across this. Via Octopus Dropkick

- K also recommends Republican Survivor. It's pretty strange. I thought it would be funnier, but it's pretty much stereotypical versions of the usual suspects. Be afraid. Very afraid. However, you, the voters at home, get the chance to get rid of the likes of Ashcroft, DeLay or Ann Coulter. What's not fun about that?

2004-06-05T15:06:00.000-07:00

Another quick note: It's hard to coin a term these days.

Yesterday, in a story I wrote about Amazon's new "plog" service that eventually got killed, I thought I had come up with a great new term.

It was: "jumping on the blogwagon."

I was tres proud of myself. Until just now when I did a Google search on it, and found there were 954 results for it. Man!

Just goes to show...uh...something. Not sure what.

Hey? Have you forgotten Norway yet?

2004-06-05T14:41:00.000-07:00

Saturday afternoon. Reagan just died. It's been a haiku fest on one of my email lists. There doesn't seem to be a lot of love lost for ol' Ronnie RayGun, and no wonder.

The man governed by fear. Dubya is his fault, if you think about it. We have him to thank for making Daddy VP, and without that, we'd never have to stomach the moron who lives in the White House these days.

Oh, well...I always wondered whose death would be bigger news: Reagan's or Sinatra's.

Of course, Sinatra's been gone for awhile now, and in the end, it wasn't a fair battle. That's because Sinatra chose the wrong day to croak: the same day as the Seinfeld finale. We found out then what really mattered. And RR passed on a Saturday, so he's not going to make huge news either. Funny how that turned out.

Anyway, on to some new links.

- My piece on Wi-Fi problems with XP keeps on getting the hits, and has made is to no. 7 (strike that, no. 6) on Blogdex today. That's pretty cool. As far as I know, my previous high was no. 9 with my story on Gmail Swap. I can't help being tempted to forward all the feedback emails I've gotten to the Microsoft PR guy who claimed that, essentially, we were making this stuff up. Pure Redmond denial nonsense. Give me a break.

- Over at the junction of blogosphere and Google, we find Anil Dash and many others vying for a mini iPod and a flat screen TV. All they have to do is find a way to be the top-rated google result for a previously zero-results term: "Nigritude Ultramarine."

I'm hoping to do a story on this contest, in which they'll give the iPod to the person whose site is number one on Monday, and then the TV to the person whose site is number one at the end of the month. I want to find out what the tricks are to making this happen. I'll post here later if I do a story on it.

- As many of you many know, I've been writing about virtual economies (such as those in There, Second Life, EverQuest and the like) for many months now. But now Reuters has weighed in with a story that's getting lots of play about the real estate boom in Second Life. It's been picked up all over the place, and while I'm happy that SL is getting the attention, I'm a little peeved, since I pitched that story a month or so ago, and my editor said he really wasn't interested. Ah, well...Can't win them all.

2004-06-05T13:50:00.000-07:00

Since my Amazon plog story got killed, I thought maybe it should see the light of day anyway. And, guess what? I have an outlet for such a thing. Here!

So...for all you two readers out there, enjoy:

Amazon Jumps on Blog Bandwagon
By Daniel Terdiman

Blogs have been around for years, and are now starting to make their way into the mainstream. Both presidential candidates have them and Midwestern TV stations are running segments explaining to the masses about the "new" phenomenon.

So it should come as no surprise that Amazon.com has now decided to jump on the blogwagon; In this case, the online superbookseller has begun trying out a somewhat bloglike service it calls personalized blogs, or plogs.

"Amazon.com is beta testing a new feature to enhance the shopping experience by offering each customer their own personalized 'plog' on our gateway," said Craig Berman, Amazon's director of platform and technology communications.

He defined a plog as "a list of posts presented in reverse chronological order with information personally relevant to each user, including order updates, reminders and new product releases."

Some feel it's a natural for companies like Amazon and Nike to begin mining blogs for new ways to reach out to customers. After all, to most people outside the blogosphere, the medium is still a fresh way to communicate, and a way that conveys immediacy, relevance and a personal touch. The question, as always when corporate America gloms onto a cool trend, is whether it's good for blogging?

To its credit, Amazon isn't trying to pretend it invented blogs. On its "What is a plog?" page, it provides a brief explanation and a list of popular sites, including Boing Boing, Megnut, InstaPundit and others, that customers can visit to see what all the blogging hoopla is about.

"Certainly some of the sites they link to will see a jump in readers," says Nikolaus Ehm, a blogger who recently discovered his plog after years using Amazon. "I think it will make people feel more familiar with the look of blogs [and] one would hope that this will lead people to become interested in not just the big blogs, but possibly becoming bloggers themselves."

Of course, Amazon probably couldn't care less about that. To the bookseller, promoting plogs is solely about utilizing a format it thinks will make its service more useful to its customers.

"The goal of the plog service is to provide users with an easy way to keep current on events that are relevant to them," said Berman. "The service is designed to further enhance the customer experience by providing personalized information, including product recommendations, order updates and other Amazon.com content in one convenient location."

But not everyone is impressed with Amazon's bloglike interface.

"I was disappointed," said Matt Haughey, the founder of MetaFilter, a popular community blog. "They had a lot of bloggers on their staff, and I figured if they ever did anything with [blogging] they would do something impressive. It just seemed like a silly co-opting of the format."

On the other hand, Ehm thinks that, for him at least, his plog is a lot more useful than the recommendations he used to get from Amazon.

"I like the look of their plog," he said. "It [is] a much cleaner way to present the information than their standard 'home' page on the site. I'm looking at the regular page…and it's just a mess."

Amazon has built a reputation for its ability to recommend products that its customers might buy based on past purchases. And leveraging that information and presenting it in a personalized way is what the company is trying to do with plogs.

But the blogosphere rewards ingenuity and cleverness, and for plogs to take off, Amazon might need the blessing of the very people it is attempting to imitate. And that might be hard if it doesn't find a way to make plogs a little less wooden.

"It barely resembles a weblog," saus Haughey. "It looks like a fake, bot-generated page that's formatted as if it was a weblog."

Berman pointed out that the plog service is in its earliest public phase and that the company plans to build it out over time.

But while Haughey lauded the way Amazon has for some time been using RSS feeds – a highly popular syndication tool in the blogosphere these days – as a way of pushing out product information, he wishes the company had made plogs more imaginative.

"If you compare it to something commercial like Nick Denton's new Nike Blog, that's a real blog," Haughey said, pointing to the Gawker Media founder's just announced project that incorporates Nike content with blogging posts about independent filmmaking. "It's not just some bot shitting out press releases."

Still, there's something to be said for companies like Amazon trying out new interfaces and new ways of presenting information. And if it doesn't work, the company can always drop the project.

But Ehm thinks Amazon is on to something.

"Hopefully, they do decide to [stay] with the plog system," he said. I think it's a much more aesthetically pleasing look for the home page….Some people will say that Amazon is just jumping aboard the blog bandwagon, but the traditional blog layout seems to work well for relaying a lot of information."

2004-06-04T20:31:00.000-07:00

OK...

It's once again time to get Flap Flap Wiggle started again.

I think it's going to take a different form than in the past. I think I'm going to use it as a place to post my favorite links I find on other blogs, along with my own Wired News stories, and possibly some other silliness I might find elsewhere.

I'd love to post long, thoughtful missives. And I may occasionally. But I just find that the pressure to be clever, articulate and worldly on a regular basis - on top of my other writing - keeps me from posting at all.

So...stay tuned. Let's hope that FFW can indeed be a regular forum for the best the blogosphere has to offer.

- To begin: My piece on Wi-Fi problems associated with Windows XP. I'll just say that this piece got the most feedback of any article I've ever written. By far.

- VisitorVille. A gorgeous software package that offers a visual representation of website traffic in a SimCity-esque manner. New visitors arrive on buses with the logos of their referers (Google, Yahoo, etc.). Websites are buildings. Visitors can be clicked on, and their passport pops up and displays up to 20 pieces of information about them. Wonderful. My next Wired News story. Via Waxy.org/Links

- Iron Blog. Like Iron Chef, but for bloggers. Well-known, or at least somewhat well-known, bloggers come together to debate political issues. The blogosphere comments. The judges decide. Via Kathleen

- Pedals Around the Rose. A game. A mind-bender. The title of the game is important. Be nice to yourself and take your time. Don't give away the secret. Via MetaFilter.

-

2004-04-30T00:30:00.000-07:00

Previously on Survivor
Six are left, who will be voted out tonight
Come on in guys
Wanna know what you're playing for?
The tribe has spoken
The person voted out will be asked to leave the tribal council area immediately
It is time to vote
Immunity up for grabs
Survivors ready...Go!
Today's challenge is for reward (chris pre-order)
Now bring in the members of our jury
I'll see you all at tribal council. You can head back to camp

2003-09-14T20:25:00.000-07:00

It began as I was searching for people to talk to me about the phenomenon of Mercury in Retrograde, that I was writing about for Wired News. Often when writing about esoteric topics I look for online forums about the subject matter. And once there, I do usually find someone I'd like to interview. In this case, I found the following posting from mrlace2000.

"It is hard to believe Kerry is going to reannouce his candidacy during a mercury retrograde. The 1st time he announced his candidacy it was also a mercury retro."

-- I wanted to know what he meant. I hadn't detected any political stance in the comment, and wasn't after one. I wanted to know how Kerry's move had been effected by Mercury in Retrograde. So I wrote,

Hello mrlace,

Hello,

My name is Daniel Terdiman. I\'m a writer working on a story for Wired News (www.wired.com) about Mercury in Retrograde, and how people perceive it to effect things, people and events.

In any case, I saw your posting about Sen. Kerry\'s announcing for president during Mercury in Retrograde, and I wonder if I could do a short interview with you about it?

If so, it could easily be via email. But it would have to be by mid-day Thursday, California time, as I have to write that evening.

If you're interested, I can be reached at jschooldan@yahoo.com. . ..

-- The next morning, he called me, unsolicited. I had not left him my phone number, so he clearly looked it up in a People Search of some sort. I had been asleep, and he was calling to see if I was ready to talk to him, pending his "stipulations?" I didn't know what he was talking about, so he told me he had already left me an email, which when I read it, would make me understand what he was talking about.

-- So I went to look, and found:

Att: Reporter
Interveiw is possible on my terms.
1) you must call me at my work 212-354-**** between 8:15am to 3 pm edt. (Since I may have phone calls coming in during our conversation you must realize the clients/boss have priority over your interveiw.)
2) you must answer me honestly the following questions:
a.. Who did you vote for in election 2000?
b. what do you think of GW Bush?
3) I want your phone # in case you do a butcher job on what I have to say, so that I can retort.

Your email seems to be on the up and up BUT I believe nothing of what I hear(read) and 1/2 of what I see. If these terms are met you may have struck gold.
Kindest regards,
Arnold XXXXXX

-- I thought about it for awhile. First I called him in advance of the deadline he'd imposed. His assistant said he was out, and so I left a message that'd I'd called.

Then I decided to answer his questions by email. I knew that was an unusual choice for a journalist, but in this case, I felt it didn't really matter. I wasn't interested in his political leanings, only the reasoning behind his statement about Sen. Kerry. I also knew that I had other sources, and it didn't matter to me if he didn't like what I had to say. I admit it was an unorthodox choice I made, but really, I felt it was inconsequential.

However, the way I answered him was a gamble, and here's where I suppose I made a mistake. Because his work phone number was in the 212 area code (Manhattan) and because both his voice and his full name said to me, Upper Middle Class, Upper West Side, 50something or 60something Jew (you know, the personality we've all encountered a million times in our personal lives and in our professional lives –journalists, at least – especially if you've lived in New York or have relatives there), I pegged him as a Nader liberal and certainly as anti-Bushie.

So I went out on a limb:

Mr. Siegel,

This is Daniel Terdiman writing you back. I just called you at your office (at 2:20 edt, in advance of your stated no later than 3pm timing), so I hope we can still talk today.

I'm happy to try to answer your questions in advance of our interview. And of course, since I don't know what your political views are, I certainly can't know what you would consider to be the "right" answer.

I will tell you that my article is not about politics, and I don't intend to take a political stand. I'm simply interested in your comments about how announcing for president during Mercury in Retrograde might be a negative thing for Sen. Kerry.

That said, I will answer your questions, as I have no problem standing behind my political views.

a) I voted for Gore.
b) I think Bush is bad for this country in just about every way, socially, politically, economically, militarily. He has destroyed the good will the U.S. had with the rest of the world, and made it less safe for Americans no matter where they go. And he's involved us in a never-ending guerilla war where the only winners are his buddies at Halliburton, Bechtel and the oil companies.

Ahem. If my answers were likely to help you decide whether to speak with me on the record, then I assume I've either got you on my side, or completely driven you off, and that's fine.

But now, I've satisfied your requests. Please do call me back, so that we can talk.

Thanks very much,
Daniel Terdiman
Wired News

-- Right around noon my time (3pm edt his time) I decided to call him once more since I hadn't heard back yet. He answered his phone and quickly told me that he couldn't talk, that he'd just sent me an email and that – once again – I'd understand when I saw it. I say okay, and hung up.

This is what I found:

Since you admit to being the typical San Fagcisco radical lib I'll pass. I give you credit for your honesty BUT........
Let me refer you to Richard XXXXX. . . . Good Luck and try to stay out of SF's Lib Fog. It clouds the mind. . ..
-- I was pissed off. I'll be the first to admit it. I felt tricked and attacked. I knew I'd fallen for his trap, and that made me feel stupid, and his comments made me angry. Now I knew that my new 'friend' was no longer going to be a source for my story, so I felt free to devolve this into something personal.
I felt very self-righteous. I was shocked, honestly, that someone that lived where he lived (Manhattan) and who was of his demographic, would say the things he'd said. It didn't fit type. I was confused.
Now I knew that my new 'friend' was no longer going to be a source for my story, so I felt free to devolve this into something personal. So I fired back:
Mr. XXXXXX,

Too bad you have to stoop to saying things like "San Fagcisco."

I really don't mind that you're passing on my article, because I'll have enough solid material either way. I'm just sad that people like you insist on sticking to negative discriminatory attitudes.

I should have known better than to take your bait. Thanks for the lesson.

Good luck with where your "president" GWB takes you and our beloved country.

Daniel
-- He didn't waste much time. It was obvious now that he'd set this whole thing up as a way of engaging me in an ideological shouting match. And I'd staked out just the position he wanted me to. That's what I thought when I read his final missive:
Start facing facts. The toleration of fagism is over. San Fagcisco (whose sister city is Paris) is the most arrogant City in the country. I lived there from 82-86 and had enough of the lib political bigotry. Your discription of OUR president was typical and so I retorted your degrading with my own. I will be following your writing in the future making comments where I think they should be. Meanwhile I have forwarded your stupid discription of GW to the White House and to the Republican Jewish Council. I veiw you as the enemy within. People who think the UN is more important than our own country are the true enemies of decency. I veiw polite bigotry as still bigotry. Even Nazi's were polite and didn't veiw themselves as bigots. You look at me as a bigot because I do not tolerate perverts ie fags. If they want to fuck each other in the ass it's their right behind closed doors. BUT teaching children that homosexuality is okay and not perverted is WRONG and should never be tolerated. Colin Powell's policy which Clinton was forced to accept wasn't good enough for the fags. Don't ask don't tell could have worked but fags weren't satisfied with toleration. They had to push the envelope with forced acceptance now they will lose even the toleration. It will no longer be a human rights issue. It is now an issue of what we teach children. Perversion is wrong and dangerous and causes death. If you don't believe it causes death you better interveiw a few proctologist.
-- I was outraged. I felt completely attacked, intruded upon (he had my home phone number, my name) and again, stupid. I'd brought all this on by taking his bait in the first place.
I decided I could win this argument. I would outwit him with facts. Or at least, pseudo-facts. I began to launch volleys, one after another. I wrote:

Mr. Siegel,

I don't know why you are so angry. But if you are
purporting to represent Jews with your stances on
people and lifestyles, I am ashamed to be of the same
faith as you.

Here are some things for you to chew on:

1. GWB will be the first president since Herbert
Hoover to LOSE jobs during his presidency. How's that
for an economic plan?

2. A completely competent Iraqi engineering firm with
experience rebuilding bridges after Gulf War I put in
a bid of $300,000 for the rebuilding of one of
Baghdad's bridges; The bid was rejected in favor of a
$50,000,000 bid by Halliburton. That's our tax money
being spent needlessly on projects that directly
benefit personal friends of the Bush Administration.

3. GWB lost the 2000 election and resorted to the help
of his brother (the governor of Florida), his Florida
campaign chairperson (by gosh, the Florida elections
commissioner), and a partisan Supreme Court to steal
Florida's electoral votes.

4. GWB probably couldn't find Israel on a map, and
Clinton was the best friend Israel ever had.

5. GWB was a cokehead, and probably still is a heavy
drinker. Do you really believe that he choked on some
pretzels? And as for his family values, why are his
own daughters in constant trouble with the law?

6. Bush's illegitimate war in Iraq is resulting in the
daily deaths of U.S. soldiers who are being killed by
an increasingly angry and international guerilla army

7. John Ashcroft lost to a DEAD man, that's how much
people in his own state thought of him, and now the
rest of the country has to suffer from his dictatorial
edicts about what's right and wrong.

8. There are more gays in New York City than in San
Francisco. Deal with that!

9. You asked me what I thought of GWB and I told you.
You didn't explain to me that if my views were
different than yours that you would attack me and
display your obvious bigotry.

10. Tolerance for homosexuality is not over. The U.S.
Supreme Court - which, if you'll recall, is the
highest law in the land - recently struck down illegal
anti-sodomy laws. Deal with that!

11. The fact that there are gays in San Francisco has
nothing whatsoever to do with anything.

12. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.
We were misled as a country by a illegitimate
president.

But I decided to show Kathleen that I was taking the high road here, and read it to her (to her laughter). But she's wise, that one, and did what I really wanted her to do, which was tell me not to send this. She had me send it to her, and I did. I never responded to Arnold. I ended it. I know he'll be watching for my story. I know that I'll be thinking about this for awhile, fighting back the urge to send him angry messages. But this blog entry is enough. Chris is also wise to suggest posting it here. Though Arnold may be watching here, too. Hi Arnold!

Daniel

2003-08-14T00:13:00.000-07:00

It's Wednesday night. That means, if all goes according to plan, that K and I will be on the playa in exactly a week. That's quite a scary thought.

After Burning Man ends each year, everyone goes home, brimming with anticipation for next year. You hear, "next year" this and "next year" that on everyone's lips. And the ideas! Amazing. Only problem is the waiting. First it's 12 moths. Then 11, then 10. But time does go slowly, especially when you're waiting for something.

The next thing you know, you look up and tickets are on sale. That must mean it's soon, right? Well, no. Tickets go on sale in January, fully eight months before the event.

Well, time crept along, and suddenly, it's August. Burning Man doesn't actually begin until 12:01 am on Monday the 25th, but for a few hardy souls, that date means little. In fact, according to this poll, about a third of all Burners hitting the playa in 2003 say they will arrive before the official opening. Hard to believe.

Part of that is surely the fact that so many people are out of work. Hey, if you're going to go - and spend the money to be there - then you might as well go early. There's no place like home, as we like to say.

So, in the meantime, there's the small matter of life that is the only obstacle to leaving on time. K's Apple situation. My writing. Sleep deprivation. Shopping. Packing. Driving. As we know, our vehicles don't have the best reputation for getting us to the playa on time. We're 0-2 over the last two years on getting there the day we leave, even though it should only take about eight hours.

Nevertheless, that's the plan. We're sacrificing some income to go early - and that may be dangerous. But then again, once you hit the playa, there's nothing to spend money on.

...

Back here in California, I just want to give big props (love the lingo, Danny baby) and a shout out to BillySirr, who guessed the number of candidates who would make it onto the recall ballot to within eight. He said 127, and it turned out to be 135. I said no more than 50. Chris said more than 400. So either BillySirr knows something we don't, or maybe, just maybe, he got lucky. I don't know. I have to admit I'm shocked so many people were willing to fork over the money. Why? I mean, do they really think their messages are going to get across?

All I know is that the rest of the world is looking at California right now and laughing. It's truly a Hollywood moment. The question is, will there be a Hollywood ending, and if so, what would that be? Would it depend on who's writing it?

To me, Ahnuld winning would hardly be the stuff of Hollywood. In my version of that script, Ahnuld is the bad guy, the evildoer who comes in to take advantage of the situation, to abuse his power and to make a fool out of the good guys. Of course, the good guys are the people of California. For sure, Davis is no good guy. He's a crook, through and through. But the last thing I want to see is his getting recalled. That just sets the worst precedent.

Naturally, however, if Ahnuld winning is the Hollywood ending, it leaves the door wide open to a sequel: Ahnuld Recalled! I can see it now. Keanu playing Ahnuld, leaping in slow motion over the mobbed press, the camera whirling around to show him from the back, his legs splayed, the hacks gaping upwards, microphones extended, scoop missed. "Whoa!" says Keanu/Ahnuld, and the genius behind the casting choice becomes clear: a one word mastery of English.

Well, anyway, I should be going now. It's nice to be back. I hope that Flap Flap Wiggle becomes a regular stop for you. I also know that by going away soon after getting this thing going again, I'm probably going to drive you away again. All I can say is, have a heart. And come visit me on the playa, where I'll give you a more visceral flap flap wiggle experience than any Blog can offer.

2003-08-12T19:05:00.000-07:00

Oh! Hey, you guys are still here?

I'm sorry, I was just out at the store. Er, it's true, that was a four month trip for groceries, but I can assure you I got a good deal on what I bought.

In the meantime, I'm happy - and a bit apprehensive - to report heady days here at Casa Dolores.

If I hadn't mentioned it before, K has been largely unemployed since 2000. That's a long time, friends. And I've been largely unemployed since last July when I finally quit my job and got away from doing work that was simply not good for me.

But today K went in for her fourth, yes, fourth, interview at Apple. Yesterday the recruiter told her she was one of two finalists for this really cool job, and today was probably the final interview. We are nervous. If she gets the job, it means a big relaxation of our perpetual financial woes. Not that it would pull our fat entirely out of the fire, but it would be some very welcome relief. And I think there might be a couple new toys around here.

However, there are some very big downsides to K taking this job - if it's offered, which hasn't happened yet, and might never. First and foremost, she would have to commute for a total of two hours a day on top of what would likely be a 50 hour week. So that would mean far less time at home for her, and an absolure requirement that we simplify our lives.

This is, of course, a golden opportunity to correct some of the things in our life that don't work very well - our home organization, our use of time, our late starts, and missed chances to get things in order. I would effectively become the house husband, doing most of the cleaning, cooking and shopping so that K could relax when she got home and mostly have her weekends for fun.

But this is possible, because for the last month and a half, I have become a moderately successful freelancer. I know I was bitching a lot before about whether or not it would ever happen. But when my last temp job ended, I qualified for unemployment insurance, and that meant I could finally put my time, full time, into pitching.

At first, it was slow. But then I struck gold! Wired News, baby. My first piece was published on July 2, I believe, and I filed my eighth today. Two more are in the works. By the time we go to Burning Man, next Wednesday - eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek - I'll have 10 pieces in the bag with Wired News, as well as having sold something to Business 2.0, Details and, last but not least, my first four-digit freelance piece, to Martha Stewart Weddings.

So...while I was out at the, er, store, I've been quite busy. Much has been afoot. I've actually learned something of a work ethic. My god! And as I've now told several people, I've been enjoying journalism for, really, the first time. That's because I've been getting paid to write about the very things that are fascinating me right now. Wow! Who knew?

Anyway, I would comment on the recall, but I think Chris has that sewed up for right now. So go check him out, and don't look here just yet for intelligent political commentary. Except for me to say that our state is really in a bad spot, and we could use some help. Please, anyone out there, help us.

Oh, and if you're interested, you can check out my work for Wired News by going here.

And, please partake of my new Blog, Cheap Haiku.

And, er, have a nice day. I'll try not to go to the store again for awhile.

See you soon.

2003-04-02T01:56:00.000-08:00

I had a very strange morning that I thought I should share.

I woke up this morning feeling depressed, and thinking that things could very well take a turn for the worse, and stay that way.

But I also thought, maybe they could go the other way. I needed a sign.

Then I heard the mailman arrive, and I decided that whatever was in the mail would tell me which way things were going to go. If it was good stuff in the mail (how likely is that?), then life would begin to get better, and things would start to go well.

If, on the other hand, the mail was full of bills and threats and all that, then things would get worse.

After the mailman went away, I went to the mailbox, and opened it. I closed my eyes as I pulled out the mail, because I was a little scared of what I'd find there.

Finally, I opened them. And I found two paychecks! And no bills!! Woo-hoo!

I ran back inside and pulled open my email. There, I found an email from an editor at Business 2.0 who had only yesterday turned down a story pitch. He said, wait! There might be a way for that story to work after all.

Then, I found two emails from friends checking in on me and being very friendly and nice. And finally, an email from the guy who organizes the Broadway Show League, which I want to write some stories about, and he gave me the names of a bunch of Broadway performers who take part in the league. I'd been waiting for days for that email.

Oh...And baseball season started. Which is a good thing. It means, among other things, that spring really is here. Finally.

With all of that in hand, I started to feel really good, like things could start happening again. After two days in which I'd heard negative feedback on two story pitches, and in which Kathleen and I had bickered a lot, I had been feeling down, like I said. Now, I decided, things were going to get better.

And all because the mail said so!

Next thing I did was to begin crafting my pitch about the Broadway Show League. And once I'd written that, I realized that I could use another blog to host my resume, instead of always pasting it at the end of pitches or job applications. So now I have two blogs, this one and my new one, which is nothing except my resume and links to clips.

Anyway, I thought about it later, and decided that I would do the best I could to keep things going in a positive direction. But I also realized that signs like that are great, but they can only control so much. Things were good today, but they may not be tomorrow. But as long as I know that I have some control over it, then I can keep a positive outlook. And that was a nice thing to understand.

2003-03-31T01:52:00.000-08:00

It's March 31.

That means it's my baby's birthday.

Happy birthday, love.

This is where you want to go to get your present. From me.

LOVE
Greeter Dan

Psst...everyone else...there's nothing to see here. Move along.

2003-03-28T14:15:00.000-08:00

So yesterday I was taking an exhausted nap after having woken up real early due to some godawful hammering outside that started at 8:30am.

And I had this weird dream. I don't remember all the details, but here's what I do remember:

I was looking out over the fence into the yard of the house next door. And what I saw was this clown wearing a very bright clownsuit. And he was standing in front of what looked to be a group of folks sitting there, listening to him intently. And what I overheard made it clear what was going on: He was trying to get these folks involved in his clown multi-level marketing scheme.

Now what is a clown multi-level marketing scheme?

I'm not totally sure, unfortunately. Since I was next door and behind a fence, I couldn't catch the details.

But in the dream, I decided to go find out. I went into the alley behind our house, and he was gone. What was there instead was a very brightly colored box that looked like a well-wrapped present with a "FREE" sign on it and a bunch of balloons tied to it.

I reached down to take a look at it when the clown reappeared. He had this amazing wig. It was gigantic and was in the shape of a giant red triangle with the tip pointing up. I thought, I have GOT to get a picture of this!

So I pulled out my camera and thought, I want to get the tip of his wig in the upper corner of the image, so I turned the camera 45 degrees to frame the shot just perfectly, and somehow, I couldn't get it to focus on him. Every time I pressed the shutter, the image would simply shake and go out of focus.

Clown mojo, I guess.

Meanwhile, the first thing I did after I woke up from the damn hammering was to rush to my computer and pitch a story to Salon about Friendster. I'll let you all know if anything comes of it.

2003-03-26T15:46:00.000-08:00

Hello, again, dear readers...

I write this afternoon with good news.

Yesterday, I wrote a letter to Giants owner Peter Magowan making the case that the Giants should issue me a credential so that I could cover the team as a freelancer. I'd been working on this letter for weeks, trying to get it perfect, wanting to impress the man, but not wanting to come off as demanding anything.

Today (one day!) I got a response from him. He said that while the Giants don't issue season-long credentials to cover the team, they'd be happy to issue me credentials for any individual games I might like to cover. So...while I have yet to investigate how this will play out in reality, I am very excited. This means that if I have story ideas, I'll be able to get access to the team to work on them! This is a big thing! I had been interested in sportswriting, but the barrier to entry to writing about baseball is usually quite huge. And in general, I haven't been willing to put in the 10 years in podunk towns writing about high school football that it would take.

Now, because of the experience I got covering the World Series for Time last fall, I will have the opportunity to go to Pac Bell Park as a reporter whenever I desire. At least, that's how it appears to be playing out. We'll see. I'll let you know more as I know more.

2003-03-26T02:51:00.000-08:00

Oh, and finally...check out the new section to the right where I have links to a bunch of my professional work.

2003-03-26T02:48:00.000-08:00

By the way, I was just doing some searching on Google for my name, and it came up with some great results. For one, a story I wrote a long time ago about the race to build the world's biggest rubber band ball has resurfaced online. It seems that the publication that I wrote it for, Getting It, has re-emerged from obscurity. Actually, it may still be obscure, but at least its website has been revamped. Improbably.

Anyway, then, further on in the Google search, it turned up "Books by Daniel Terdiman." I mean, it's true, I was an editor on Drama in the Desert, but I never really expected that somewhere on the web, someone's created a page called, well, Books by Daniel Terdiman. Now I just have to add to that page.

2003-03-26T01:47:00.000-08:00

We're home. It's 1:30 in the morning. Yes, that's when we get home from our "job." It's so weird working these hours. In some ways, it's not bad because we get much of our daytime free. But on the other hand, it really keeps us from doing anything social with people. And that's sad. I'm feeling like I miss other people.

But it's okay, I suppose. This job will only last until mid-April, and then we'll be free to pursue some daytime temp work maybe. Hopefully, Kathleen will find some way to get a real job soon so that I can concentrate totally on freelancing.

As I said earlier, one way we get through the temp job is to listen to NPR. And that really does make the time go faster. Tonight they had Jonathan Franzen, author of "The Corrections" on City Arts and Lectures. That was pretty cool. He was funny, interesting, intelligent and self-effacing, all fun things to listen to in an interviewee. The other night, they had Steve Martin and Robin Williams on the same show. Now THAT was crazy. I think letting Robin Williams loose in public is dangerous, though, and in some ways, I wishe he would get muzzled.

Anyway...the war goes on, and it's getting increasingly bloody. At first, the Administration was like, Hey, this is going to be a cakewalk, and the Iraqis are just going to surrender en masse and we'll be in control in just days. Now, they're saying, well, hey, this is a war, and there's going to be casualties, and it's going to take some time. And WE never said it would be over quickly. Those fools. I just can't stand their sanctimony, and I wish someone with a loud enough voice would point out just how idiotic and criminal they are. Tonight, it was announced that Halliburton would get the contract to repair the burning oil wells. Like that's a surprise. (See my blog of March 11 for more on my thoughts on that.)

As I may have mentioned, or maybe it was just at a party, I really can't stand how we're being manipulated into needing to support the war because we have to support the troops. But as some people have said so eloquently, the best way to support the troops is to get their asses back onto American soil. They're fighting an illegal war, for no reasonable purpose, and I just can't stand it. The other day, two marines were killed, one in a battle to take an oil well. I mean, I just wanted to hear the Defense Department explaining that kid's death to his mother: He died taking an oil well. That's America, baby.

I think it's time to effect some regime change at home, as many say. I just wish I knew how to make it happen sooner than Election Day 2004. Sigh.

Have a good Wednesday. I'll be waiting to hear back from Magowan, or at least his secretary.

Peace.

2003-03-25T16:10:00.000-08:00

I've just finished two of the projects that have been keeping me occupied for quite some time. One is the story (which will appear soon on SFGate) about covering the World Series the week before and after my wedding. The other is a letter to Giants owner Peter Magowan asking for his help in getting a press credential for this season.

Oh, and I'm in the early stages of pitching stories about the Broadway Show League, which is a softball league New York City where, yes, people from broadway shows play.

In any case, it's nice to have that stuff finished, because it frees my mind up for other things. And yes, dear readers, that includes Flap Flap Wiggle.

Meanwhile, our temp job goes on. It's actually quite amazing how quickly eight hours of data entry can go. I suppose it helps that we have NPR to entertain us. Indeed.

See you soon. Same time, same channel.

2003-03-20T01:53:00.000-08:00

Sigh.

So it's started. We knew it would happen sooner or later, but of course, I hoped later. Somehow, I guess maybe we all thought if there were enough demonstrations, and enough vigils and enough online organization, that diplomacy would carry the day. But we obviously underestimated the Bushies' commitment to having their war. Once the bombs started falling, I could almost picture Dubya's shit-eating grin, even as he delivered his somber speech to the nation and the world.

I heard about the beginning of the war during my first eight-hour shift at this temp job Kathleen and I are working together. We're doing very brain-numbing data entry work, so we are easily able to listen to the radio, or to CDs. I was listening to NPR commentary on the build-up to war when the announcer interrupted the speaker to say that Ari Fleischer had just delivered a statement that the attack had started. Seemingly, though I was in a room full of people doing the same job, I was alone in having the news that the war had started. Even Kathleen, sitting a couple desks away, didn't seem to know, though she was listening to something. Next to me, a woman was entering her data, and occasionally she would laugh at something. As I sat listening to the earliest reports of the attacks, and saw her laughing next to me, I was overcome by sadness. Should I tell her, and ruin her mood? Or should I let her finish her shift in blissful ignorance? I opted not to be the one to tell her.

As I listened to NPR's early coverage, and heard Bush's speech about 20 times, I was struck once again by the utter hypocrisy of the Administration. Not to condone Saddam Hussein, but to hear Bush state as his justification for ordering the attacks the "outlaw regime" and "weapons of mass destruction," I could not avoid thinking about how the Bushies stole the 2000 election and how they were even then unleashing bombs which by any measure would have to be considered weapons of mass destruction. It was like during one of his earlier speeches on Iraq, when he used as his justification for his commitment to invading Iraq the fact that Violence will not Stand. Um...and who's being violent here?

Even as the war got underway, I heard countless interviews with talking heads. One Republican Congressman made the point that now that the war was on, dissenting opinions were really counterproductive. Prior to war beginning, maybe it was okay, he hinted, but now that our President has made his decision to go in, it was really our responsibility to support him as our Commander-in-Chief, as well as our troops.

I felt like standing up and screaming! This Congressman's logic was infuriating. Basically, as long as the President can get away with starting what amounts to an illegitimate war, we have to support him? And I absolutely hate the way they manipulate us into "supporting the troops," as a way of getting popular backing for a war that no one can really justify. I mean, wouldn't the best way to keep our troops safe be to keep them here in the U.S.? And if Bush is going to put them in harm's way, then he's the one that should take responsibility for their safety, and not put us in a position of having to go against our wishes by having to support the troops operating in a war we can't stand.

And the funniest thing is that when NPR ended its coverage for the evening and turned its audience over to BBC, I listened to a whole new set of commentators and talking heads from other parts of the world talking about the war. And they almost universally condemned the U.S. for the action it was taking. And I was fighting this urge to take umbrage (I love using that term) at their attacks on us. And I thought, why am I feeling this way? And I realized that it wasn't because I cared that they were attacking the Bush Administration and the U.S. military, but rather that they were angry at Americans in general. And I pictured myself traveling somewhere else in the world and getting angry stares from foreigners simply because a President I didn't vote for undertook a war that I didn't support. And in this mental image, I wanted to stand up and shout, Hey! It's not my fault. I'm an American who doesn't support the war. I'm with you!

It's a sad day for the world. And now, in spite of myself, I can only hope the war is a very quick success. Because that's the only alternative to a long, drawn-out battle in which there is too much suffering. As if any suffering was acceptable.

Peace. Please.

2003-03-17T00:04:00.000-08:00

I went to one of the candlelight vigils tonight. Kathleen, my mom and my dad went to Dolores Park, where there were probably 300 people braving the bitter cold to protest war in Iraq and sing for peace.

It was definitely a strange moment. There were many children there, but a lot of them were playing loudly on the nearby play structure, adding an unexpected layer of jubilant sound to the somber mood of the adults. People were defiant, and proud to be taking part in such a widespread celebration of our right to call for peace. The ability to organize so quickly and in so many different places that groups like MoveOn have brought to mass popular attention has given people with dissenting opinions a new way to have our voices heard...and counted.

Speaking of which, someone asked me if I'd registered as planning to attend the vigil, which MoveOn was encouraging people to do, and I said no. I guess I didn't understand that the importance of doing so is indeed that it legitimizes the numbers that organizers of the rallies and marches and vigils tout. And the bigger those numbers, the more influence we have.

In any case, other than being particularly frigid tonight, the vigil in Dolores Park was extremely beautiful. Candlelight is such a wonderful kind of light; it is peaceful, it is soothing, it is warming and almost delicious. And multiply it by several hundred people, add in the city lights (including City Hall) and a nearly full moon, and it was glorious outside.

Sadly, it is so easy while standing in such a place to forget that in other parts of the country, music fans and radio stations are massively boycotting the Dixie Chicks because one of them had the temerity to say that she was embarrassed that Bush comes from Texas. I mean, I know how she feels. I'm embarrassed that he comes from the U.S.

All this makes me think more and more that our plan to grab as many folks as we can and skeedaddle for New Zealand. Of course, "patriotic" Americans would tell us to Love It or Leave It, and would want to strip us of our citizenship. But, hey...I bet Kathleen and I could have cats in New Zealand.

So, on a lighter note: MEOW!

2003-03-16T12:31:00.000-08:00

I'm here at my dad's, helping him build some bookcases and other things. It's interesting. We used to do this kind of work when I was a kid, and I hated it. Absolutely hated it. Because it was tense and there were disagreements, and I always felt like I was doing something wrong.

But now it's different. We work well together, and we work quickly and efficiently, and there's humor and good feeling. It's nice.

Family is good. I vote yes on family.

2003-03-13T21:08:00.000-08:00

And Another Thing...

Hmmm....what do you think that was about?

2003-03-13T19:52:00.000-08:00

Today is Thursday. Following the Mon, Wed, Fri thing and the Tue, Thur thing, that explains why, today, I have not spent hours applying labels to things at a Wells Fargo office. Monday I did. Wednesday I did. Tomorrow I will again.

I fear I am being typecast. You know, That Daniel guy, boy, can he do good sticker. I mean, let's see: Yesterday, I was told they were expecting us to be able to apply seven stickers a minute. Our "boss" told us, however, that he'd done 13 a minute. As if he was a sticker superstar.

So, well, the deal with these kinds of jobs is that you have to involve your mind somehow. So I usually look for patterns, or count things or something. When dealing with names, I look for people I know. Yesterday, I found two. One was my loan officer on the Westy. Go figure.

Another way I kept my brain from atrophying over in the corner was to try to figure out how many I could do in a minute. J.P., the boss, he could do 13. I'm better than J.P., I assured myself.

Go!

I did 23. Again, and I did 24. Finally, I topped out at a frenetic 25. A few things fell over that time. Heh.

Eventually, I settled in at a comfortable 20, I'd guess. Ahem. But I was expected to do seven. What does that make me?

A true, no doubt about it, sticker superstar.

And the only problem is that, now, I'm not sure whether to make a STICKER SUPERSTAR t-shirt or hide under the bed in shame that that's what become of my life.

On the upside, though, I just had a really nice glass of French red. Yup. You heard me, French.

I'm sorry. I gotta go now. I must prepare myself for the Homeland Security folks. They'll be here soon.

Ciao.

2003-03-11T22:40:00.000-08:00

Speaking of Enron, the bankrupt (morally and financially) energy giant is actually hiring.

Can you believe it?

Here's some of the job requirements for one of their current postings.

"Highly motivated and 100% dedicated to team/region/corporate goals. Subject to hazardous conditions including escaping gas, adverse weather conditions and temperatures, heights, high-pressure gas, heavy lifting, and cramped conditions. Must be able to work in remote locations, often working alone. May be required to travel to other company locations for temporary assignments, meetings, and training. May require some overnight stays away from home and will be required to live within 30 minutes of the reporting location. Incumbent is subject to call out 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and extended workdays/work-weeks. Required to carry a pager and cell phone, to work a rotating on-call schedule, and is subject to 24-hr/day callout at any time for emergency response. Candidate must have a proven safe driving record and provide documentation of past traffic violations upon request, as well as maintain a valid driver's license. Incumbent will be required to take and pass a pre-employment drug test, and will adhere and is subject to all U.S. Department of Transportation Drug and Alcohol related regulations, and will be subject to background check."

So I wonder if "100% dedicated to team/region/corporate goals" means keeping your mouth shut when testifying before Congress?

Hmmm....

2003-03-11T22:37:00.000-08:00

Remember how just about every presidential administration has some really big scandals and then, about two-thirds of the way through the term, there's hearings and lots of press and in the end, a whole bunch of mid-upper level guys get indicted and do some time?

Well, it seems more and more obvious to me that that's going to be happening to the Bush Administration in a year or so. I mean, Jeez, you've got so many scandals in waiting. You've got Halliburton, where VP Cheney's ex-company is all set to get the big, gigantic, ultra-lucrative contract to handle the post-war era in Iraq. You've got Enron, where it seems like just about every member of the Administration was a golfing buddy with an exec. And then, according to Salon's Joe Conason, you've got unbelieveably smug folks like Richard Perle, a Bush foreign policy advisor, who in an interview with CNN's Wolf Blitzer (who I interviewed once), called New Yorker writer Seymour Hersh, "the closest thing American journalism has to a terrorist, frankly."

And this because Hersh, in an article in this week's issue, unveiled some potential conflicts of interest in Perle's evangelism of war with Iraq. Hersh suggests that Perle's investments in companies that could benefit in the event of a war could present a conflict. Perle scoffs, tells Blitzer that, "I don't believe that a company would gain from a war. On the contrary, I believe that the successful removal of Saddam Hussein, and I've said this over and over again, will diminish the threat of terrorism. And what he's talking about is investments in homeland defense, which I think are vital and are necessary....If you read the article, it's first of all, impossible to find any consistent theme in it. But the suggestion that my views are somehow related for the potential for investments in homeland defense is complete nonsense....[H]e sets out to do damage and he will do it by whatever innuendo, whatever distortion he can -- look, he hasn't written a serious piece since" 1967.

Well, my feeling is that folks like Perle will eventually go down. But sadly, it'll all take plaze in a rush of hearings too long from now, long after the damage has been done. And I'm sure that Bush and Cheney and the others at the very top will escape, even though they're in it up to their necks.

What a world we allow ourselves to live in. Sigh.

2003-03-11T16:39:00.000-08:00

It's Tuesday afternoon here in San Francisco, and it's sunny. But overhead, the fog creeps in from the south and the north, and in some ways, this atmospheric condition mirrors how I feel.

On the one hand, there are some pretty good employment prospects out there, including temp work, freelance assignments and possible jobs. On the other hand, they come to fruition slowly, and with low pay. And while I sometimes am very excited about those prospects (see last posting), other times I feel very down on the whole thing and want to run away to the circus. The problem there, of course, is that the damn circus ain't hiring.

Ah, well...at least it's sunny outside, right?

On a brighter note, Kathleen and I and three friends, Chris, Petra and Aaron, all took a crazy weekend trip down to visit Hearst Castle. What a hoot! I've never seen such a proud display of ostentatiousness (is that a word?) And yet, in the middle of it all, as you marvel at the man's lack of taste, you can't help admire his tenacity in building the collection that he wanted. Okay, unlimited means doesn't hurt, but hey, the man ran 94 businesses or something. And yet he still had time to fly all over the world, buying the art he wanted. No matter that he could have collected Van Gogh, or Picasso, or Renoir. But in the end, you do feel that he built something cohesive, and even if you don't agree with the taste, I guess you have to applaud his stick-to-it-iveness.

All told, the weekend was great fun. We saw zebras, we made people's mouths drop (okay, Aaron did with his costumery) and we made people smile. I really had a great time taking pictures, and though I promised my friends I would take 1,000 pictures (which at the going exchange rate would be worth 1 million words), I came up a little short. I only took 331 pictures. So, again, my photography work equals out to about 331,000 words. What to do with those words, I'm not exactly sure.

Aaron really rocked my understanding of how time and physicality works. This is a guy who is known for thelack of solidity of his commitments, and yet he's very nice about it. He'd said he'd be at Chris' house at 9am on Saturday so that we could all make it to Santa Cruz in time for Petra's 11am hair appointment. Suffice it to say that Aaron didn't even answer his phone on Saturday morning. So we left. At somewhere around 1:30, as we were well down the coast on our way to San Simeon, he called and said he was still in San Francisco but was ready to go. We told him he had until 5:30 to make it, and if he took 101 instead of the coast road, maybe he'd make it.

I seriously doubted he'd make it. But at about 5:15, when we pulled into the Hearst Castle parking lot, who was there waiting for us? Aaron. Amazing.

Aaron is also amazing because he's one of the very few Burning Man artists who truly is able to pull off BIG art. He's behind the Dice Club in 2001 and last year's Rubber Duck. This time around, he's planning a very large Sphinx and an entire Giza. Wow! And given his past results, I have no doubt that what he'll end up with will be nothing short of incredible.

Anyway...it's still Tuesday, it's still sunny, and I'm sitting here pecking away at Flap Flap Wiggle. If you can, subscribe now, because as of tomorrow, the rate goes up 25%.

Ta.

2003-03-07T23:42:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here and it's 11:27pm, and I'm excited because I'm full of ideas. I'm unemployed and poor, but I have so many ideas for freelance stories and projects and things that I think can help Kathleen and I. It's a nice feeling because some of the time it's so easy to feel defeated by what's going on out there. You search the job listings or talk to people about their experiences looking for work, and it feels so bleak. And it can feel like there's no light at the end of the tunnel. But then I start to brainstorm and I realize that there is sooooo much opportunity.

I am lucky because I have some connections, especially in journalism, because I went to Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism, a place that can really hook you up just about anywhere in the world of media. Just for an example, and I won't say that this has helped me any (yet), but one of my advisor's best friends is editor of the New Yorker.

But what really was making me feel good just now was my enthusiasm for some ideas that I've been mulling over the last couple days. First of all, after I'd pitched an editor at Business 2.0 about a story I want to write about the Business Plan Archive, he had politely turned me down but actually called me to invite me to pitch more stories. And so I've been mulling a few over, and I figure at least one of them's gotta hit, no?

And then I've got a couple I plan to pitch to Salon, where I wrote a story last year about privacy rights. And then I was thinking about this plan that Kathleen and I have been talking about where we start to market ourselves (mostly her, really, since she's the great designer) as hyper-creative wedding invitation desginers. And recession or no, there's always going to be weddings, right?

So...you know, times are tough. But I see promise. I don't see riches, but maybe I start to smell creative output and professional satisfaction. And, well, if both of us have to hoof our way through some fairly demeaning temp work at rates almost below the poverty line in order to fulfill that promise, it will be worth it when it pays off.

And that's just what we and anyone else out there who is creative and full of ideas, but who is unemployed or underemployed right now has to believe.

We're in it together.

2003-03-07T21:56:00.000-08:00

I would like to lodge an official protest. Okay, I'm maybe 10 years late with this, but better late than never, as they say.

Here's my beef:

Just suppose for a second that you are, shall we say, proficient at Tetris for Windows. And just suppose you have the kind of ego that seeks the reward for your, shall we say, proficient, Tetris play of making the high score list. And then let's just suppose for a second that your score was about to hit 33,000. Well, then, what you of course experience is at almost precisely that moment, your score would become -32 thousand something (I know, I know, it's a power of 2 thing) and then count upwards to zero. Well, not only does that prevent your ability to build your score, but it also corrupts the high score table permanently if you save it.

Now here's my question: Are we to suppose that the geniuses at Microsoft never got a score that high when they were working on the damn program?

2003-03-07T20:31:00.000-08:00

At the moment, I have but one thing to say: curly fries, baby!

2003-03-06T17:24:00.000-08:00

Who knew?

There Kathleen and I were, walking home, lamenting that we can't really afford to buy books right now, when we happened upon the Mission District branch of the San Francisco Library.

Next thing you know, the two of us were inside, scouring the shelves, and finding all kinds of gems that we could check out for free. I mean, how can you beat that? Kathleen in particular would probably have spent $100 on the books she got today. And as for me, I got some good things, but even more important, I reserved a couple of books, "How to be Good," by Nick Hornby, and "Summerland," by Michael Chabon, that I've been wanting to read for awhile but haven't felt like buying.

Meanwhile, the world out there seems like a really scary place, and so I want to make sure that I begin the process of explaining Flap Flap Wiggle.

It's a hard process, and since it's mostly about being relaxed and playing and taking life lightly, it might take me some time to get through the explanation. In fact, I'm not sure I'm up to it today. Heh.

Seriously, though, with all that's going on in the strange world of diplomacy (where, say, the leader of a big, aggressive country says he wants the United Nations to sign off on his plans to invade another, smaller, country that may or may not pose a threat, but then when the UN basically laughs in the leader's face, he says, well screw you, I'll do what I want) and international relations, it's really tempting to bury your head in the sand. I pick up the paper and see the awful headlines and my instinct is to turn straight to the sports page. Sure, sure, recite those Crowded House lyrics if you want, but it's true.

But actually, Crowded House (and maybe a few others, like my mother?) is right. It is a scary world, but it's our responsibility not to turn away from what's hard to stomach. I can't even begin to remember how many times I've been in conversations in the last few months where the topic turns to Iraq before someone says, well, hey, let's not talk about that because it's depressing.

But that's exactly what the Bushies want. They want us to not think critically about what they're doing because it's better for them if we don't. And of course, I'm not exactly one to get up on my high horse here. I've missed both of the big recent anti-war demonstrations, and haven't been getting involved. Yet I am purely disgusted by what the White House is up to. In an era where cynicism rules, these people are the most cynical I've ever come across, and that's saying something for someone who came to political consciousness during the Reagan years.

And yet, out here in San Francisco, I feel so marginalized. I feel like no matter how loud we yell, either no one's listening, or alternatively, they hear us, and then easily dismiss us as left-wing "Northern Californians." That's what Bush did the other day when he said, well, yeah, I hear that some folks out in Northern California don't agree that Saddam is the greatest threat since the dinosaurs were wiped out, and I respect their right to think that way, but hey, I disagree and I'm gonna do whatever I please.

And this bit of self-righteousness and entitlement coming from a man who's claim to the presidency is based on the fact that a bunch of Jews in one county in Florida somehow voted for Pat Buchanan. Peh!

Well, anyway, I'm getting away from the main topic at hand, which is explaining flap, flap and wiggle. So close your eyes and try real hard to picture this:

A soft, fuzzy, peaceful, happy, humorous purple platypus. No, not the poinsonous kind. A purple one. With no tail. Now imagine that purple platypus flying across the room, from you to your friend. Or even better, from your friend to you, since it will land on your shoulder and almost certainly make you smile. Now listen reeeeeeal carefully as it bridges that gap between you and your friend, and hear the sound it makes and watch what it does.

That's right. It flaps, flaps and wiggles. You've got it.

And that notion, that simple notion, keeps me at peace so often when I'm sad or down or angry. I just put one of my many purple platypuses (yes, I know...it's a point of contention. But I insist that they are purple platypuses, not purple platypi) on my shoulder, or on my head, or on my lap - heck, I'll put 20 of them on me, and I feel better. Right away. No questions asked, 100% guaranteed or your money back.

I suggest you try it sometime, especially in these troubled times.

OK. That's it. I've said my piece, and now I'm going to saunter off in search of some yummy snacks. And I'll let you in on something special I've learned over the years: the secret to good snacking? It's equal parts sweet and salty. No matter what the damn doctors say.

2003-03-06T00:10:00.000-08:00

Ahem!

I hear an echo. Could that be you listening to me?
Hmmm...perhaps it's me listening to you.

Perhaps I'm dreaming, and tomorrow when I wake up, I'll think, what was that weird dream I had last night where I was trying to create my very first ever Blogger entry for Flap Flap Wiggle, but I...couldn't...type...fast...enough...and...they...were...gaining...on...me.

Maybe not.

Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and find that Flap Flap Wiggle is at the top of the Blog popularity charts, and I'm being bombarded with requests to sell the film rights to my life. That would be useful, because I'm broke right now, and I could use the money.

So...er...any film producers out there want to buy the film rights to my life? If so, I'd really like James Spader to play me. And if not him, then maybe John Cusak.

Meanwhile, I should go to bed. I have to go interview at temp agencies tomorrow. Yes, me, the professional, the journalist who sometimes reports for Time Magazine, and who has traveled the world, and who is 33 years old, well, I'm going to go see if someone might pay me $12 an hour to type their letters. Mind you, when I last did that, back in 1996, I got paid $15 an hour. But who's counting.

Anyway, I'd like to welcome you, me and everyone else who might have accidentally wandered into these (so far) empty halls. I think when you understand that flap flap wiggle is a mantra that could save the world, you'll come back.

Nighty night.